death • pop

I saw the above video the other day and it inspired me to try to get the ‘One Man Army’ achievement on Grand Theft Auto IV. By coincidence, I had gone to the same Cluckin’ Bell. I assume you’ve figured out that I failed. Yep. I failed big time. I was about two and a half minutes into it; I called Dwayne to get backup and he said he’ll be right over, or his crew will be right over – then I died. Oh, well.

In order to procure the One Man Army achievement, one must withstand five minutes on a six-star wanted level. This is not for the faint of heart. It’s tough! And you have to be quick with your weapons and with tact (i.e. your head).

Here’s what I learned from that ONE experience:

1. Buy all the ammo your weapons can hold [check]
2. Don’t forget the body armor [yep]
3. Pick a spot indoors [uh-huh]
4. Hide behind a wall or duck behind a counter [alright]
5. Always make sure you have a getaway vehicle nearby [okey-dokey]
6. Win the One Man Army achievement [yeah, right]

The hospital is the perfect place for a 6 star shootout. The entrance door acts as a deterrent for bullets. Plus, if you’re quick, you can score some soda from the soda machines to replenish your health.

I guess it’s time to strap up the old boots and cause some fiscally horrendous damage.

Do you remember Mortal Kombat 3 for the Super Nintendo? Do you even remember Super Nintendo? Well, that’s ok – we all don’t remember crap from fifteen years ago. But I specifically remembered a quote from the beginning of the game:

Did you get that?
There is no knowledge that is not power.

Crap! This quote confused me like you wouldn’t believe! Only recently (and by recently, I mean four or five years ago) have I figured out what it means: knowledge is power.

They could’ve gone with “Knowledge is power!”, but I think someone used that already…

_Credits:
Image taken from Moby Games

They go and let the NFL Network make a commercial that uses a cover of Morrissey’s “Everday is Like Sunday”.

Are you kidding me?! That song is too depressing for football! Why couldn’t they use The Replacements’ cover of KISS’ “Black Diamond”? Maybe, because it’s about a prostitute.

Oh, well…who hasn’t whored themselves out to the NFL? Not Morrissey, that’s for sure.

“Mr. Goodell, Gene Simmons is on ‘Line 1′”.

So, I was on MySpace at midnight and I found a local band I’ve been searching for, for a couple of years. A Tiger Named Lovesick is an indie rock band from Austin and from what I’ve heard, they’re kick ass.

I’ve never seen them live, own an album of theirs or even know if they’re still together. They’re still new to me – considering, how I just found their MySpace page. I remember seeing their video, “Enemy Camps (Song for a Spy)”, on ME-TV; back when I had TimeWarner Cable [BOO!!]. I forgot about it and how the song went, but all I knew was that I had to listen to it – AGAIN! NOW!

Take a listen and download “Enemy Camps (Song for a Spy)”, while it’s still on their MySpace page.

I’m done with Yahoo Answers — DONE!

There has been an influx of young and immature idiots who are busy asking “Will Cindy McCain be heavily medicated for her speech at the convention next week?”, “Do you know what perfume joe jonas likes!?” or … my personal favorite: “Which 2008 professional football team has the most white players?”.

I remember when Yahoo Answers, an question and answers community, started in early May of ‘06. There were only a few idiots asking stupid questions and giving equally stupid answers. But all that changed when the teenyboppers, partisan trolls and the super bored came to town.

A perfect example would be, when the New England Patriots were halfway to a perfect season. Patriots fans were constantly jeering at everyone. They kept saying “The Patriots are smashing everybody in there path!”, Stop hating the Pats!” and their number one battle cry: “19-0!”. But, the Patriots fell short and lost to the New York Giants (as non-Pats fans such as myself, both proclaimed and predicted) and the Patriots fans were nowhere to be found, and rightfully so.

But, after all the drama has quelled and the dust has settled, I still love Y!A. I still have the ‘I ♥ Yahoo! Answers’ sticker from two years ago! I don’t plan on sticking that anywhere – [cue sappy music] it means the world to me! It was a Valentine’s Day gift from the Yahoo folks, you know.

Plus, I like helping others find what they’re looking for. It’s a great feeling when you give someone the name of the song, artist or movie they’ve been searching for. And it’s a great feeling when someone answers your burning question.

So, maybe I’m not done with Yahoo Answers. Maybe, we’re just old acquaintances who try not to bump into each other at the grocery store.